The Keep It Salty Cap
$21.89
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A decree, embroidered.
I am told the young people say "salty" now to mean aggrieved, embittered, or otherwise in a state of magnificent displeasure. I find this an entirely acceptable use of the word. Salt is the oldest of the fine things: fought over, taxed, hoarded by kings. To be salty is to have standards and to suffer visibly when the world fails to meet them, which is, frankly, my entire biography.
So wear it plainly. My crown above, my mustache below, and between them an instruction I have followed my whole life without once being asked to.
Structured trucker cap with breathable mesh back and adjustable snap closure. Embroidered front. One size fits most heads, including those already wearing a crown.
A note of caution: this cap confers no actual title, land, or authority. The attitude, however, is included at no additional charge.
